The Mouths Of Babes

Love Letter

On the weekends we let the children play around the house while we get extra sleep. I'm not worried about them hurting themselves (or else I'd get up when they do). After this morning, I think we need to reconsider this. The children were awake for maybe 1.5 hours before us this morning. Our bedroom is next to the living room and our door is open, so we sort of half sleep/half listen for what they are doing. It's the half sleep time that bit us today. Everything seemed OK until I went into the kitchen. There was an object on the kitchen counter. I asked Ted if he put it there. He said he hadn't. The reason I was so disturbed at finding this object on the kitchen counter: it lives on TOP of the upper cabinets in the kitchen. The only way it could have been retrieved is if Erin stood on the kitchen counter, reaching on her tippie toes or, heaven forbid, stood on another object on the counter. I'm really glad I didn't witness this. I guess we will be back to taking turns getting up with them...

About 15 minutes after I woke up, Erin made a note and then got into our bed where I sleep. She put the note on her chest. The note said, "I AM MOM." Then she giggled and called me in to see. As soon as I read it she closed her eyes and started snoring loudly. I said, "I don't snore." She laughed harder and said, "Yes, you do! Like this:" then proceeded to snore like a Grizzly in the dead of winter.

It is because of her total disrespect for me that I do not feel the least bit bad about sharing her first love letter with you:

"Love Erin. To Collin. Ross Are Red. Vilits are Blow. I rele love you."

I might even email it to Collin. Take that you little smartypants.

Chess and Trouble

Teddy and I were playing Chess yesterday morning before school. We didn't have time to finish the game. When he got home from school, I was working and couldn't finish the game at that time. He sat down and finished the game by playing against himself. He carried on a running conversation through the whole game. At the end, I asked him if he won and he said, "No, I'm a tough player so I lost."

Later on he was playing Erin in a game of Trouble. She was trying to cheat by adding new rules. He wasn't having any part of that so she got frustrated and said she wasn't playing any more. Teddy said, "That's fine. I don't need you to play." So, once again he played the entire game against himself. This time, however, he pretended to be Erin when it was her turn. Here's a bit of the running dialog:

Teddy: I got a 4. One-Two-Three-Four. You're in Trouble! You have to go back to home.
Teddy (in a high pitched girl voice): NO! When you roll a 4, you can't send someone home.
Teddy: That's cheating! You can too send someone home on a 4!
Teddy (high voice): OK! Fine! My turn. [rolls a 5] One-Two-Three-Four-Five.

This continued through the whole game. Again I asked him if he won at the end. He said, "Yes! Even though Erin kept trying to cheat I still won!"

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I had my rib nerve block yesterday. Once again the 10 minute procedure took 40 minutes. I won't go into the gory painful details. Suffice it to say they had to give me 3 local anesthesia injections. So far I am only getting minimal relief. The pain is better but not completely gone. They said it could take up to 2 days for the cortisone to work. I'm keeping my fingers crossed that I need the full 2 days.

Nice Furniture

Teddy wanted me to tape these long fluorescent pink fingernails to his two pointer fingers. He didn't want to be oh so pretty, he wanted claws. Not claws, but CLAWS. I put them on him and he started growling and scratching the tablecloth...

Me: Teddy, I'm going to take those off if you scratch the furniture. Please don't scratch our nice furniture.
(Teddy looks around the room.)
Teddy: But MOM, we don't have any nice furniture!

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From Highlights, the children's magazine:

A first grade teacher was reading the story about Chicken Little to her class. She got to the part when Chicken Little says to the farmer, "The sky is falling!"

Teacher: "Lily, what do you think the farmer will say?"

Lily: "I think the farmer will say, 'Wow! That chicken is talking!'"

Pride or Shame?

My 4 year old son beat me at Chess yesterday.

He will be 5 in a month so that makes me feel a little better.

Breakfast in Bed

This morning Erin brought me breakfast in bed. She is not allowed to cook so she brought me a juice box, an apple, an orange, and a banana. She also gave me 2 napkins that she folded very fancy. The only negative to this experience was that she brought it at 6:30am.

Around 8:30 I finally got out of bed. When I went into the living room Erin was watching TV and Teddy was no where to be seen. I headed up the steps and hollered for Teddy. He replied, "I'm in my room having breakfast in bed!" I went to see and he was sitting in bed propped up with pillows. He had a plate on his lap with a napkin (fancy fold) and an apple and an orange. He was happily munching on a banana - then took a drink of his juice box. He picked up his napkin and dabbed his mouth like a socialite. He looked at me and said, "I like this. Can I have breakfast in bed every day?"

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Last night at bed time, after story time, I was getting the children their mandatory drink of water before bed. When I walked back in the room they were both lying on their stomachs. They were wiggling their butts back and forth in unison. When I laughed they both started cracking up saying how they planned it and wasn't it so funny. At times like that I wish we lived with constantly recording video cameras set up in the house...

Goose Egg

Usually in the morning I do most of the work of getting the kids ready for school and Ted gets himself ready and drives them to school. Last night Ted asked that we switch this morning and I drive them. As we were getting in the car, Teddy fell and bonked his head on the side of the car. He's screaming bloody murder. I go over to check him out and he keeps screaming, "I dropped my pop tart!" He says nothing about his head, just the pop tart casualty. So now I'm sure you are wondering why he had the pop tart. Well before you start thinking to yourself "I'll never give my child a pop tart for breakfast" and what a loser Mom I am, think about this: He already had a banana and a yogurt and some orange juice. He saw the pop tart as we were leaving and to avoid a major catastrophe, I let him have it. When you have a 4 year old to get into the car for school, well then maybe I'll care what you think about me giving him a pop tart...

So, he bonks his head but is only upset about the pop tart. I quickly run back in the house and grab another pop tart. He's happy again. All is well. Life is good.

We get to school and as I am giving him his backpack I check his head. Goose Egg right on the forehead. Dang. He said driving over that it didn't hurt. What to do? Take him home or take him in to school? I ask him if his head hurts and he says it doesn't so I opt for taking him to see the nurse in the school. The nurse chuckles and says 'Hi Teddy.' So I guess he's a regular in her office - not surprising. She gives him an ice pack and we go to his classroom.

I go in to let the teacher know what is going on. When I told her he bumped his head and has a little goose egg on his forehead her eyes widened. She asked, "Is he OK to be here?" I replied, "Oh sure, he didn't lose consciousness or anything." She gave me this funny look so I compromised and said, "We'll be home all day so if he has any problems give us a call and we'll come get him."

I was a little surprised the teacher reacted so strongly. I know she has children. She might not have any boys, though. I have really noticed that Teddy injurs himself much more frequently than Erin. When he was about 2 years old I took him to my work one day (I forget why). Anyway, he fell down and bonked his head. Everyone freaked out. He didn't even cry or anything - he was fine. They were all upset asking if he was OK. I said, "Sure. He usually uses his face to break his fall."

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I go in Tuesday for another attempt at the Rib Nerve Block. They are planning to do it differently this time - block it at the root. I'm hopeful that it will work this time.

In the mean time they increased my Oxy. I had to stop taking the Neurontin - it made me sooo sleepy. I was afraid to drive while I was taking that stuff. I was worried about getting addicted to the Oxy. The doctor said that the addiction issue has been way overplayed in the news. He said that you can develop a dependence but that usually only happens after being on it for over a year. He said that even then, it just means that you can't just stop taking it - you have to keep lowering the dosage to wean off of it. He said it's like anything to which you can develop a tolerance. Like caffeine - if you drink it regularly and then stop suddenly, you will go through withdrawal. The difference between dependence and addiction is that when you are dependent you need it for pain relief - there is a valid reason for taking it. When you are addicted, there's no longer a reason for taking it but you continue to do so - to the point where it affects all aspects of your life and you will alter your behavior to continue taking it. So, although I'm not happy about taking this, I'm not so worried about the addiction any more.

Bubbles

Whatever you do, do not buy bubbles (the kind that come with the bottle and the little wand and you blow them) that claim to be 'stackable' or 'catchable'. They are truthfully advertised. You can catch them, you can stack them. What they don't tell you is that when they pop, they leave behind crud. This is super crud - it doesn't even come out of clothing in the wash. At least with regular bubbles, the crap they leave behind is soap. When you wipe them they actually help to clean the surface.

I told Erin that we had to throw these bubbles away. She was quite distraught until I told her we could get the kind that you can eat. Yay! No mess!!

1 am

Teddy: MOM!
...
Teddy: MOM!
Me: (heading up to his room, I find him on the top step) What is it honey?
Teddy: I'm scared!
Me: Did you have a bad dream?
Teddy: No, I woke up and the curtains looked like giant teeth.

Yeth, That'th True

Erin lost one of her top front teeth yesterday. She looks sooo adorable and sounds even more adorable. Her S's sound like TH's. Teddy is quite upset that he still has all of his teeth. He claims, "It's NOT FAIR. I NEVER get to lose a tooth!"

Erin put the tooth under her pillow last night. At around 9 pm, we realized that we'd need to put some money under her pillow. We also realized that we only had 2 twenties and 1 ten. I just couldn't see giving her $10. I think I got a quarter when I lost a tooth. That was many, many years ago, but inflation is not that bad. I was telling Ted that he'd have to go to the store to get smaller bills. He gave me this look, to which I replied, "No, we are not going to leave an IOU from the Tooth Fairy." Luckily I found a 5 dollar bill hiding in a coat pocket.

When she woke up this morning and looked under her pillow she yelled, "Look! Look! The Tooth Fairy left me an Abraham!"

Nightmares and Purple Gloves

Last night, around 1 am, I awoke from a horrible nightmare. I won't bore you with the details - suffice it to say it was of the 80s Slasher Movie variety - chased by a man/killer/monster/ghost type thing. As soon as I woke up I knew it was just a nightmare. The adrenaline coursing through my body felt differently. I was irrationally freaked out. I turned on the TV to try to distract myself out of my fear. At about that same instant, Teddy started yelling from his bedroom. I went to see what he needed. The whole walk there I was looking over my shoulder and turning on lights. Irrational, I know, I said that already. Teddy was sitting on the stairs outside his room waiting for me. I herded him back into bed...

Teddy: Mom, can I have a drink?
Me: Sure.
...
(go get drink of water, wait for him to drink it, take the cup back to the bathroom, come back and sit on bed)
...
Teddy: Thank you. I love you, Mom.
Me: I love you, too. Settle down and go back to sleep now.
Teddy: OK.
...
Teddy: Can I have another drink of water?
Me: Sure.
...
(go get drink of water, wait for him to drink it, take the cup back to the bathroom, come back and sit on bed)
...
Teddy: Mom? I love you.
Me: I love you, too. Back to sleep now.
...
Teddy: I love you, Mom.
Me: I know, sweetie. I love you, too. Please go back to sleep now.
...
(I think he's finally asleep so I stand up)
...
Teddy: Mom, what are you doing?
Me: I'm just standing up - go back to sleep now.
Teddy: OK. I love you, Mom.
...
(This time I try to leave his room)
...
Teddy: Mom, where are you going?
Me: Honey, it's the middle of the night. Mommy's very tired. I'm going to go back to my bed.
Teddy: OK, Mom. I love you.
Me: I love you, too. See you in the morning.
...
(I head out of the room)
...
Teddy: Mom?
Me: Yes, honey?
Teddy: I'll buy you purple gloves.

I was laughing all the way back to my bed. By the time I got there, the fear from the nightmare was forgotten. As I got in bed I thought, "I guess sometimes it's the 4 year old that scares away the monsters."

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I had my 'Thoracic Nerve Intercostal Block' yesterday. I've been in worse pain since having it than I was before it. The nurse called this morning and when I told her she said that many people say that the first couple of days are more painful. She said my procedure was more intense than what people there usually have so she's not surprised that I'm in more pain. I really wish they would have warned me. She said I should be feeling relief by tomorrow - both from the pain of having the procedure and my usual rib pain. If not, I'm supposed to call back.